I Want To fall In Love

When he walks in with his masculine glamour and splendor,
My organized thoughts do a shuffle
I giggle and grin
Of the wonderful headache on my left
My paragon
I wish,I hope,I wonder,if we’ll ever be-
Proud and annoying
Oh what he does to me.
What is it that he does to me?
I feel-
Exposed,a mess
Why do I wanna fall in love?He thinks I’m a fool.

I wanna fall in love,
With that tall,strong,slim, and handsome man.
I wait for the next time we hold hands,smile at each other…
Clothes look good on him,he caresses with his voice,
And makes a flumpy tampsy flop of me
And I,
Get nervous,giggling like silly and
Saying all the wrong things like-waao thas nice-
He’s seen me in overalls and thinks I’m k
He says,he doesn’t need to know me to love me,
-You love someone first when you see them,then decide for sure you want to love them-
He lifted me off my feet and kissed me,
I wanted to scream-with delight?Amazement?Happiness?Joy?Shock?
Then he said he was sorry.
Why do I wanna fall in love?He’s a fool.

But I wanna fall in love
Coz if I don’t I’ll continue to think straight,
And that aint good.
I need to fall in love so bad,
To get a bit tipsy and forget my rules.

So I’ll fall in love
With a beautiful man with flurry hair and cute stance
A man who makes me want to-
Sing and dance and bend my head a little,
A man,whose voice makes my heart beat in strange places
A man who’ll call to say goodnight,
Who keeps silent not to offend.
I watch him battle with many words
I see his smile through my eyes’ corners
I feel his hands search for mine
For a chance to hold me closer
He sighs my name when he sees me,
When he hugs me he whispers my name.

I want to fall in love
With a man not shy to look at me,
A man,who lets me be
A man,who tries to understand my ways
I’ll fall in love,with one who can guess my next words,
With a man,who’s not afraid to differ,
To say-But I don’t think that time is enough-
A man,who knows himself
A man who can think
Hm,I wanna fall in love.

{I read this at Kwani Open Mic,March 2007.It wasn't in line with the theme,but thing is.The topic was a bit,well,,um,hard.And the only poem I had close to it wasn't all that.So I decided I wasn' going to ask for a chance to read something,but I threw in a couple of poems in my bag.Then some friends showed up.And they so much wanted to hear what I'd read.I couldn't disappoint them,so I registered anyway.To read a love poem.They said if possible,they'd squeeze me in.I hoped they wouldn't.But around 9 pm,I was eating fries and thinking,,I love poetry,and how I'm I going to get home..the MC calls out my name,and starts to sing Cecilia you're breaking my heart.People joined in and I was blushing navy.So I took out one of my newest pieces.It was fun to read it,and the applause was encouraging.You can find a picture at http://www.campusvybe.com/index.php?show=3&id=ph&pid=Kwani%20goes%20audio%20visual#nogo}

No Satisfaction

Apart form 35/60 matatus,call boxes and over speeding cybercafé timers, the other thing I detest most is banks.Not just because I failed my Banking unit,no.
There was a time I used to get monthly paycheck. I hated the idea because of the subtractions which would be made to my peanuts.The check also delayed until a very disturbing time of the month.When I could finally make a withdrawal, I’d have so many debts I’d want to go underground.
Several times I made withdrawals from a different branch of the same bank,to avoid the queue in my branch.
They charged a double withdrawal fee.I had no idea until one day I went to get some cash and found a balance of 4 shillings!{hehe}
Recently I went to check on the status of my account,if it was still in operation. I’ve taken to saving my money with friends,and most times I’ve had just enough for the day. So.
To reactivate the account,I was to pay some cash.I went got some and came back to fill the form.I filled everything on the dotted line,even my ID Number which I don’t know of head but it’s in the first page of the note books I carry around..At the enquiries desk they asked for my ID.I have written it there,I said,pointing.I need your ID ,the lady said.Woi,she wasn’t laughing could remember where my ID was,in the bag I had used the day before, which was at home.Damn!What about my school ID?I groped to a reed.
She shook her head.
I thought-what the heck,and turned out to go to college and revise for exams due in 9 months.I couldn’t reactivate my account without an id?
I thought,,It was to their advantage.Coz really,it’s not a withdrawal I was making…Didn’t make it to school.I took a mat to go and pick the ID.I like to finish things I start,,,on Mondays.
I was feeling very annoyed on my way home,but my mind kept thinking things I could have asked the lady had I no better sense:
Hmm,so you want my ID,do you also want my Birth Certificate? An ultra sound?May be you’d like a blood sample too?A look at ,my baby pictures?My lower primary report card?
Clearly I was set off.
Just like jana when I went to pick up some pictures from a photo shop. They printed the wrong size!And try say that to a self righteous river road trader who’s been in the business to long.That he made a mistake?
I had already paid,for the pictures,,,,it was the 3rd film I was having printed and they said the price I had been charged for the first two was a discount price.
I was staring at pictures the size of passports!
One particular one of the sun rising over the sea was just, sand and half the ocean!Nilikufa ganzi{I felt weak}to make matter’s more complicated,those were not even my copies.How do you convince someone that the mistake only happened when their stuff was involved.I was so mad.But I was more shocked than mad.That studio,,Photo print Studio,Anna’s Arcade,Latema road,few paces from Odeon Cinema,,with profoto and Kodak posters screeming in orange;they have no people skills.They have no courtesy.They are too conceited. Ama business is good and they’ve had enough..Then why don’t they close shop and go start a chicken farm?

I Could Be

What is my life
What is it that I missed
All along it seemed alright,
Not right, but alright.

I’ve waded through my inner me
Given rein to my desire
I guess it’s frightening to find out,
There’s this kind of me.

Sometimes I long for days to end
Sometimes I watch myself
I wonder at me,
Can I be me and not feel regret?

So much to do, so little time
So much to feel,
Too much uncertainty
How to find out?

In the midst of a life like in plastic
Gulping for breath, for sight
When will I live my life,
What is my life?

3 kinds of sadness
To be
To live
To remain.

21st March 2007

Robinson Island

Part 1-Planting Mangroves

‘For me?Thanks man.’Says Guddy as I hand her a bottle of Fanta.
It’s my pleasure, I say and sit astride my chair.
‘So we came back walking straight towards the cabin with the light on. The man beside me was trembling and saying-mama these men are too many,and they’ve got knives and pangas,,,but I pushed on,and he kept following was like a mad woman. I kept. On .There was no moon but it was not so dark,we could see the silhouettes standing around the cottage,and watching us. Two men started to walk towards us.,,and us, we headed on.
I asked-Where’s my husband-I guess then the realized we must have got some back up,because they fled.The askari’s lunged forward at that instance. They caught two of them.The leaders,infact.
They had tied up Kai very tightly and the rope had bruised him all over.I guess they had intended to throw him into the creek,along with me.So they had been waiting.’
Guddy continued her narration.
Just one of her numerous experiences she has had from her struggle,living ther life she chose. Guddy and her husband Kai are two Kenyans living in Malindi,and taking care of an Island called Robinson Island.They take the lead in rehabilitation of the destructed coastal strip that serves as ground for the salt works companies.
When I say,take care of an Island.I don’t mean a little trim and tuck here and there every third Saturday of the month.It is a big task,,,preserving the natural balance along the coastline, and in the Island itself.
Ever heard of the mangrove tree?
It is a short,leafy hard wood tree with roots that like to start up up then down as if curtsying. It is a very versatile tree.
It can with stand the highly salinated sand along the coastline. It actually filters the salty ocean water to give pure drinking water,through it’s roots.It also medicinal,its leaves used for some forms of rheumatism and stomach aches.It is also a good source of building material and firewood.
This mangrove tree also ensure that the slim division between ocean waters and the natural water table does not break.
The mangrove serves as a breeding ground for fish,prawns and crabs,that they may not end up in fishermen’s nets too early.
In the last couple of years,the allocation of the land along the coastline to salt mining companies, the former thick mangrove forest has been brought down to just white stained stumps and extensive stretches of sand and crystallized salt remains.
The salt companies have not bothered to rehabilitate the patches of land they use.Kilometres around,you’ll see a modern white desert,,earlier on thick with green but now glistening with evidence of misuse.
Guddy is a campaigner for reform.For a turn about of this practice that is not only harming the environment but also the people.The original dwellers on the land have had to give up their land,and now work as casuals in the salt factories.Their water wells have turned salty,they buy water from surrounding towns. Hard life
That is why for an upward of fifteen years,Guddy has been in and out of courtrooms; that she may be able to take up the responsibility of re-establishing the mangrove forest
‘Actually,Kai was doing this before me.I didn’t think it was anything until I one day went with him,and what I saw made me make a resolve to do the same.’
Along with Friday’s arm community,which is under her head ship,they have been nurturing a pleasant planting project which stands out uniquely amongst the barren former salt crystallization furrows.This; of course, has not been without opposition.As the opening story points out, they has faced all sort of-pin-‘gainst- ballon pressures.
Everyday has been a struggle.
Now,she has the support of th UN,and her efforts have not been flowing into a drain..Last week, Friday 16th March was a great day in Guddy’s memory book.
One of the salt companies agreed to join her in her modest endeavour.The press attested to it,that that was a big day.They showed up,removed their footwear and waded through the mud to capture the planting event.
A total of 31,000 mangroove seeds were planted!31!That’s a lot.
Before,they’ve done 20,10 thousand,but never 31!
The event was attended by various people.Students,foreigners,children,women,fishermen,{sigh}we planted and planted .The field looked quite spiky after the planting,but it was a great feeling to know,,every single seed had made a difference.
[pictures to follow}
and the whole day I couldn’t help steal a look at this wonder woman.I wished to get closer and ask,just ask,,how do you do it?