Beyond Reach

I’m 9.
Angry and bitter.
At the world, at people.
I’m silent
I’m seething. I could explode.

At 13 I gain surety.
I’m confident and strong
I know what I want
I’m not scared, I fight.

Then I turn 15.
Fear and confusion settle in
My hands are cut off.

At 16 I’m running,
I’m in love,
I’m a rebel.
I’m 18;scared,furious
Determined.
How long can I live?
And I have a crush on an older man.

At 19 I’m proud and sure
I treasure friendships and ties
20settles in, with anger,
With bitterness,
I’m frustrated and desperate.

At 21 I’m hopeful
Enthusiastic
And I develop warped humor
Because I try
As hard as I can, but I get 2nd rate
I reach 22.
I cry, I laugh, I’m lost in thoughts.

Then I realize,
My passion is not a fleeting dream.

June 07
{alternative titles: When You Only Got a 100 Years to Live.,Rediscovering {my}Youth,Youth}